Days passing by. And hardly any posts from me. I guess I'm slacking off a little here. Too much World of Warcraft lately probably. Darn that game, it really kills you from the outside. Though i have finally gotten a good character. Either way today I'm gonna take up a topic that when i was little had hardly any existence. But lately is something i see more and more often. The Euro-Asian families. When i was little and a growing child i lived in a town where most people somehow breeded with people similar to each other and with that i mean Swedish with Swedish, Vietnamese with Vietnamese, Bosnian with Bosnian and so on. But lately i have seen alot of couples who are Swedish+Thai. I mean a couple of years ago that was a pretty darn rare sight. Now i see it almost everyday. And don't go up north. Each and every guy there is together with an Asian there. Was so in shock when i was in Sundsvall to shop and all i saw was Swedish men with Asian wife's and kids. Started to wonder if it was some kind of trend or something up there. Though then again I'm as guilty as them. I was together with a Asian girl. And btw i am not against it really. Just that it feels weird for me seeing other euro-asian couples.
Though finally got my laptop to work again after the charger broke over a month ago. Finally i can sit in Fedora again. Though it was funny the day i got the charger. after getting the charger i went to school to study with some friends. While working and studying i was also updating my computer. And i tell you with Linux there is always new updates each month and it updates software that isn't just for the operating system but also for everything else also so you never need to worry about having old software. well either way. After being done with 200 updates or so, it was time for restarting the computer. And so i did. I shouldn't had, it was a mistake. It seems sometime during the updates it updated GRUB in some way so. And GRUB handles something that is called the Master Boot Record that handles what should be booted and how it should be done. Well somehow it now said there weren't any harddrive to boot from. Though that doesn't make really sense cause for GRUB to even start it needs a harddrive. Well later that night i fixed it with my "pro" Linux skills (Google). But now everything works. And now even Spotify works, that before said i didn't have a working sound card.
And now something i have hold in for quite awhile. Even though it have been around 4 months since it ended, the feelings is still there. And now the other day we finally had a real talk for the first time in a long time. And honestly it was really relieving that we finally talked. Though it started off bad, things finally was took up between the two of us. And honestly during that time i felt glad that she opened up and told me straight to me what was going on. Something i havent dared to do since things splitted up. And honestly all feelings are still there, just that they are hidden away to ensure no one gets hurt. Though still i have times when i am emotionally down. Some people have really have seen the worst sides of me during that time. Sides i didnt want anyone to see or experience. Though worst thing with just holding things in that when for example hugging a relative or a friend it just feels empty and i start to remember those hugs that could really make me explode. Wish i just could experience it once more. Cause honestly i couldnt get enough of it. I just wished things wouldnt be so complicated.
I dont know if some people will react to it but this is how it is partly inside. I wish i could be more true at this at this moment. Well i hope this will be a good post for you all.
First day back from school since the christmas holiday started. Started off the day with getting late (How great arent i? :P). Well it was just a project meeting and i wasnt the last one there either. Martin was like 2½ late while i was only 30 mins. After some working and talking for many hours it wa time for SLM or in a more normal sense; Service Level Management. And i tell you this will probably be one of the rougher classes i'll read. Though actually it will be my last one before the internships starts. Hopefully i will get the internship down where my mother lives. That way it'll be easier to save my money for UK. 2 months with just rent and no need to pay for food. Paradise! ^^ Though btw i have decided on something new. If i dont get a job before i go to UK (in UK that is) i will then try to get a bartender license there and be a bartender. Hopefully that will keep me alive there. And why people may wonder. Well if you wanna know you have to ask me. ;)
This became a small post. Maybe i'm losing my edge. Well c you all soon.
Late night as always. Dunno why i write during the night though but either way i do. Not talking much sense either for starters i guess. But then again i dont feel like being in a good mood either. Well many probably wondering how my trip was. I guess i could just call it fine. It was quite dull really. The same old thing. Nothing new really and me doing nothing at my grandparents place. And during new year i did some drinking. Yea i know i dont usually drink but this time i allowed myself though for the night it was fun but the day after. Shoot me. Well i didnt get wasted but i felt slow for two days. Nothing fun afterwards really. Came home on the second of january. And during the night i went and visited the emergency clinic in the middle of the night. Was there from 00.50 to 05.00 in the morning and had to walk home afterwards. Got sent there cause i had an allergic reaction to something. What, i have no idea. Though i got 300 bucks poorer. Dont feel like explaining much right now about what happened. Get so moody talking about it. But then again i guess its due to the medecation talking. Cause one of the things you can get from the medecation is temponairly mental unbalance. Risk factor is the same as less than 1 in 1000. Guess i got it either way. Though it reminds me i didnt tell some people that today (as of right now its past 00.00) i will rehearse with the band and will be gone for the day. I wished i said that already to some people but i just couldnt somehow. Well i hope that one person will survive while i'm gone. I just hope that the person dont do something that isnt that good. Well goodnight now. I hope you survived my word pooping and i am understanable. :/
Was awhile since the last post. Not much happening really. Though things will probably remain in silence for awhile after this day. Well its cause I'm going away tomorrow to see my grandparents and relatives on my mothers side. They only live 10 hours away with train. And that just what I'm going to ride. Train all the way from Jönköping to Ånge that is in the middle of the country. Though I tell you even if i say in the middle of the country it doesn't mean there are many cities or such. Just that it is half across the country. Will be going with my sister so she is coming tomorrow. Though i need to clean up my place a little. ^^
Though its not just my place that needs cleaning up here, its the kitchen also cause it looks horrible. As good as it is its not my time to clean the kitchen. ^^ Actually the place looks almost like we have had a rave party and everyone is like if they were wasted. And i tell you all we didn't do anything special yesterday. Besides there was poker tournament downstairs and a goodbye dinner for the exchange students at some other place. ^^
How this happened don't ask me cause i have no idea. ^^
Beside that i guess i have finally started to understand my roller-coaster ride as some call it. It basically is about something that people here sometimes call damp though its not really the same thing and is a misunderstanding. Though as many of the people i have grown up with i sometimes go berserk when people are irritating, annoying or being cruel against me. It all is about really about built up anger that have is filling up eachtime i feel hurt or sad. I dont know how many times i have gone berserk due to it in elementary school. Though things changed in 9th grade. That change was the martial arts. During the years i had trained it i never really got angry at anyone really. Never touched someone beside when Robert asked me to punch him in school to see how hard i can punch. Well i can say it worked for 3 years really and everyone saw me at the dojo as a really nice guy. Same was it in upper secondary school. Someone who never got really angry at anything nor even killed a fly. A plain nice guy i guess. But then a day came when my world was really turned upside down. And it was cause of my fathers death. I started to train less and do nothing more often. I closed myself again and i wasnt as outgoing as i used to be but still i have always been shy. And as many other people recently have noticed i have been going really up and down at times. I guess its all from the lack of putting anger and annoyence on something. I guess i need some martial arts training again. Though i wonder if i should go back to Karate or if i should start with something new. Though i cant start anything until i have moved i guess. Anyone who can recomend anything? :P
Sunday and today i have been a good boy. I have cleaned my room. Much cleaner now. ^^
Havent cleaned in awhile actually. I wont say how long ago it was cause then i probably get whipped by someone. Who i dont know but most probably by someone of the opposite gender. Pictures of my cleaned room will be further down.
Though about the other gender in general. Dunno what it is lately but people whom i socialize with seem to want me to hook up with other girls. Have happened twice already on 2 days. Yesterday my housemates started talking about it at the dinner table and the mentioned four people where two names doesnt sound good at all and one i have heard of but never meet even though she lives next door and the fourth one is a lesbian. The names of the two girls or should i say nicknames really is Gorilla and Chimpanse. And i say it doesnt bode well if you ask me. The girl next door i know who she is and what her name is though its told she hardly speaks. Guess its some shy girl. And as i said before the fourth girl is a lesbian. I mean come on? I dont really wanna be together with a lesbian and secondly even though i'm single i'm not really looking either at the moment. Want things to calm down before i even try with someone else. And now the second time was today. Talked with a friend of mine and we got into the talk about me being shy and all. Though she doesnt really believe it cause i was able to talk with a friend of hers without any real problem. Well i just said she was one who easily opened up to talk. Then she told me she actually was a very shy girl. Though from what i noticed she didnt really seemed like that kind. And then she said it. My friend said we might have actually clicked. And then she started to make plans. Well we'll see if that friend of mine really will do as she said. Though if she will try to make us together or something i have no idea what to do. What is it with people and trying to hook me up with other people? They try to ensure i get laid or how you say it? Though worse is probably when i meet my grandparents(mothers side) next time they'll probably ask me to see some girl they know up there. Cause last time they were asking when i would bring up their great grandkids. I mean hello i'm only newly turned 20 the youngest family i know of had their kid at the age of 23. And not to be critisising against him but for me that feels alittle too young. But thats just me i guess.
Well have a great night and enjoy pictures of my room. ^^
So now its like 3 months since i lost my thumb. It have healed quite well actually. Will show you how it looks now. I'm sorry to have kept it all secret for you all before. Dunno why i really did but i felt like i needed to do this on my own. I know this will come as a shock to many of you. But i'm still the same old Kenny you all have known. I'm just one thumb less. The rehab training have been quite easy though cause it was my left thumb so it wasnt as much hard work as if it was my right one. The rehab people was really nice. The nurse who had me was newly graduated from my school and was just a few years older. I tell you she was quite good looking. Its too bad she was taken but we'll see with my luck. Though i'll see her again tomorrow. ^^
Btw a pic of my lefty hand and my confession.
Fake BTW and a big fat lie. I know its not 1st april but i wanna put it up now. :P
Friday today and me very very tired. Think i will go to bed after posting this. Quite early for me actually. Though i have been most of the time in school today and then when i got home i had to make dinner. And now i'm really exhausted and sleepy. Wish there were more energy in me. And it was a pretty sadening day today. Havent been able talk long with anyone really today. Espcially some people. Even though i have had two friends around me today i felt a little lonesome. Maybe its cause of lack of socializing or something else. Darn i'm too dependent on other people maybe. Feels like sometimes i cant do anything until i have had a daily dose of something. Pretty annoying really.
And now i got brain dead. Guess the bed is calling. Good night!